This post will contain spoilers for A Storm of Swords so don’t read on if you haven’t read it yet.
A Storm of Swords is a very long book, so long that it’s split into two here in the UK. This one probably has the most major character deaths of the bunch. It’s terribly emotional and Westeros is in absolute chaos. Four Kings are left standing but by the end of the book three of those will be dead.
One of my favourite things about the book is Jaime’s pov chapters, we get to see his adventures with Brienne. I say adventure and it sounds fun but they had an awful time trying to outrun everyone and get back to King’s Landing in one piece. Jaime is very sarcastic and therefore funny to read but I also love reading about his life in the Kingsguard when he was younger. The chapter when he opens up to Brienne about when he killed the Mad King is so emotional and adds more complexity to his character.
I was got very frustrated that no one would listen to the women in this book. Catelyn knows so much, she knew Theon wasn’t to be trusted and when Robb brought his stupid wife back and her family, Cat knew that their fear of Grey Wind was a bad sign as well as obviously angering the most petty Lord in the whole Seven Kingdoms. Also Cersei sensed danger at Joffrey marring Margeary and she was right, he died.
Never go to a wedding in Westeros. First we have Sansa having to marry Tyrion who is over twice her age and worse for Sansa, a Lannister. Tyrion was also unhappy with the match and refused to share Sansa’s bed until she was ready.
Then of course we have the Red Wedding which is the most devastating event in ASOIAF. Robb Stark was winning the war until he broke his word to Walder Frey and married someone from the Westerlands instead of one of Frey’s daughters/granddaughters. The Northerners need to get back to their homeland to take back their homes from the Ironborn, but the way is barred by the Freys. Eventually they come to an agreement and Edmure Tully is to marry a Frey instead. All seems well, Robb apologised and was forgiven. But after the wedding feast a slaughter ensued. All our Northerners were murdered, including Robb and Cat and their army outside the castle. The worst part is that Arya was within moments of seeing her family again before they were taken from her. I will never be able to read those chapters without ugly sobbing, it’s so horrible.
Lastly we had the Purple Wedding. A royal wedding with Joffrey and Margaery tying the knot. Everything was going fine until Joffrey decided to use Tyrion’s embarrassment as a source of entertainment. He insists that Tyrion be his cub bearer and pours wine over his head. But someone else had better ideas than letting their only granddaughter marry a sociopath. Joffrey appeared to choke on some pie, but really he was poisoned. I hate Joffrey but Cersei having to loose her son that way breaks my heart. Tyrion was set up, he was the one pouring the King’s wine, the perfect time to slip him some poison.
Tyrion’s trial was also a set up. It’s a tough read because of the injustice of it all. Tyrion has no witnesses himself so he looses it, confesses that he would love to murder everyone in the room and call for a trial by combat. Full respect, Tyrion has been treated like rubbish his entire life and finally he has had enough. The trial by combat is such a good chapter. Oberyn Martell agreed to fight for Tyrion against the monster that is Gregor Clegane aka The Mountain. The Mountain killed Oberyn’s sister twenty years ago when King’s Landing fell in the war. Oberyn wanted revenge and almost had it, but he would not finish it, he had Clegane on his back, stabbed and dying but he insisted on waiting until Clegane had admitted his crimes. The most gory major death to date in ASOIAF I think, sorry Oberyn!
The epilogue is arguably my favourite part of the book. The Brotherhood without Banners have recruited another undead member. Thoros brought our Catelyn back to life. She can’t speak and she can’t remember much, but she is out for revenge and hanging Frey’s in the Riverlands with the help of the Brotherhood. I am desperate to read more of Lady Stoneheart, my poor Cat.
Favourite death: Tywin Lannister, I hate this guy, he’s been emotionally abusing his children for decades so it’s no surprise that Tyrion was the one to finally end his life. The best part is that he was on the toilet! “Tywin Lannister, in the end, did not shit gold.” One of my favourite lines ever, so funny.
Let me protect them: Arya, Sansa, Jon, Tyrion, Jaime, Cersei, Brienne, Bran and the smallfolk of Westeros.
Favourite quotes: “Their blades made a little island of light , but all around them stretched a sea of darkness, unending.” – In Jaime’s dream, him and Brienne are casting the only light he can see. When he wakes up he goes back to Harrenhall to stop her being killed by the vile Bloody Mummers.
“Sansa is no longer yours to torment. Understand that, monster.” – Tyrion to Joffrey.
“A man has a right to vengeance. But he slew a man beneath his roof, and that the gods cannot forgive.” – Old Nan from a story she told Bran. Frey is going down.
“Brienne looked so miserable that Jaime almost found himself wanting to comfort her.” – Jaime (I’m not crying, you’re crying!)
“We are puppets dancing on the strings of those who came before us and one day our children will take up our strings and dance in our steads.” – Tyrion. I just love this image.
“Sourcery is a sword without a hilt. There is no safe way to grasp it.” – Dalla
On my kill list: Walder Frey and all of his vile spawn, Stannis Baratheon, Melisandre, The Bloody Mummers, Gregor Clegane, Olenna Tyrell, Littlefinger.